Tea and Light Refreshments (or, Anatomy of a Conversation About Everything in a Very Short Time Over, Yes, Light Refreshments)

- "So? Kohomade? How? What brings you by?"

- "Fine fine. No, Aunty, we were just visiting Uncle Grover and we'd thought we'd stop by and give you a chat."

- "Who's Grover?"

- "You know, that's Danuka mallie's wife's father's elder brother."

- "Danuka's wife's father's elder brother… the one who married the one they call Cuckoo Aunty from Dehiwala? Aney, sorry, but the biscuits are a bit broken. If I had known you were coming, we could have made cutlets and rolls. How do you want your tea? Shall I make tea? What will you have to drink? A soft drink?"

- "Aiyo! Don't worry Aunty. Ok, tikak tea dennah."

- "Milk tea?"

- "Hari hari."

- "Here, have a little gram. Take!"

- "Thank you, Aunty. Cuckoo Aunty is Michael Uncle's wife. Grover Uncle married a one Miss Dilshani Jaywardene. Her father was the G.M. of the Kandy clothing outlet in Wattala, a very important man. Aney, sin, she died of dementia two years back."

- "Dementia? Sissy Auntie's husband, Joe, also has dementia now. It's a shame to see him. He used to be so spirited and jovial!"

- "Yes. I can still remember how he'd come down the lane with an umbrella and a bag full of mangos, handing mangos to every Tom, Dick and Harry!"

- " Ah, ha ha! Yes yes! A real rascal, too! He'd slowly come and put two mangoes on Sissy Auntie's windowsill. If her brother caught him, he'd chase him down the lane! How can one do that a not expect a hammering?!"

- "Ha ha ha!"

- "So, putha, what's wrong with Uncle Grover?"

- "Don't you know, Aunty, he was sitting a home one day and complained of a headache. He had come from the hot sun from all the way in Bambalpitiya and Suresh says that he immediately went to wash his face when he came home. Must have been that, it's not good to wash with cold water when your body is hot. To see, he's complaining and complaining of a headache, so they take him to the Hemas Hospital, because you can never be too sure at that age, no? He's seen by the famous doctor D.D.T. Kumaratunge, trained in the UK."

- "Shah! Must have cost an arm and a leg!"

- "Wouldn't you believe, just for the initial examination fee, 15,000!"

- "Boru kiyunna epa! Don't tell lies!"

- "Seriously! And then he was sent to the hospital on doctor's orders-"

- "Ragama hospital? Aney, would you like more tea?"

- "Yes, Ragama. Epa, Aunty, one tea is plenty. You can't stay at the private hospitals. It's too expensive. One thing about Sri Lanka, the public hospitals have the BEST doctors. Don't expect the Hilton, but the attention is first class."

- "That's the thing. Our country has so much potential. But don't you know our people. The doctors will work hard, but no one else works hard. They just want their salary and they don't care about anything else. Sri Lanka is going to the dogs!"

- "Yes, well, we'll see with the new joker in office. The last one managed to make a pretty penny, neda? So it turns out that Grover Uncle had suffered a brain hemorrhage. If they hadn't taken him to Hemas, he would have been dead by now."

- "Noo! So? He's okay now? Please, don't worry about that spill, it's just tea!"

- "Sorry."

- "No problem, putha."

- "So now he's ok. He's resting. He can't talk too much, and he's weak, no. Over 1 month in the hospital!"

- "Aiyo."

- "Will it come out? Here, let me do that."

- "No, don't worry, it's just tea! So is he able to eat?"

- "No, Aunty, that's the big problem. He won't eat, he only drinks water. He says he doesn't feel like eating. But you must eat when you are sick. Madushan took him some of her delicious pancake rolls, but he only took a tiny, tiny bite. He says he feels like drinking thambili, but, don't you know, you can't drink coconut water all the time! He's mad!"

- "Something must have happened with the brain hemorrhage. I will pray that he gets better."

- "Thank you, Aunty."

- "Please, take this bit of wedding cake. Last week I went to Janith and Roxanna's wedding - he's the son of Jayanth Weejasuriya, who's married to S.L.K. Fernando's sister, you know S.L.K. Fernando, don't you, who is an MP for the SLFP, I knew him when the buggar was in school with my son at St. Joe's! Now he's a big shot!"

- "Ah, Shemal is an Old Joe?"

- "Yes, of course. But really, Roxanna is a lovely girl, you should have seen her dress! Sequins from head to toe! I think that dress was made at Shanti Stores, in Rajagiriya. Over 400 people they had invited to the reception, at Cinnamon Lakeside."

- "Shah! Hari nice!"

- "Yes, aney, at the end they gave me two pieces of wedding cake! I told them I shouldn't, since I have a bit of sugar, you know, but-"

- "Ah! You have sugar too? It's a very big problem, neda, this diabetes. Everyone is having this sugar problem now. You know, even Nanga was diagnosed."

- "No! Really?"

- "Yes. Just two months prior."

- "So young. That's too young."

- "Aney, yes."

- "Do you like the bougainvillea I now have in the entrance way?"

- "Ah, yes! Aunty you have done SUCH a nice job with the garden. You have always been into gardening! Such a good gardener, just like your mum."

- "Ha ha! Yes, I have a Tamil boy who comes each week, he's a very bright boy, he knows about this yard work, he suggested to put bougainvillea in the entrance."

- "Yes, you've always kept your house very nice."

- "Thank you, putha. You came on new Negombo expressway, didn't you?"

- "Yes, Aunty. Hari lovely! They say you can get from the airport to Colombo in 20 minutes! If you take Negombo road, you'll be there in one hour if you are lucky!"

- "The old president did those roads. He shouldn't have been voted out like that. And now they are searching his home and personal accounts for supposedly illegal money! But that's not right. You must let people relax. Who else put an end to the terrorists?"

- "Yes, that's true. He ended the terrorism, but he was stealing too much. If a road costs $1 million, they'd say it costs $5 million and pocket the 4."

- "All politicians are corrupt. You'll see how this one is. Give it a few months, and he'll be singing the same song that his old boss did."

- "Hmm. But it is a lovely road."

- "Have another biscuit. Finish it."